Can You Lie to Yourself Better?

Can You Lie to Yourself Better?

Or, rather, can you tell yourself better lies?

This is what Marisa Peer, a therapist, author, and speaker, is inviting us to ask.

If we tell ourselves lies (thoughts that are simply not true) every day, why not replace them with lies that are empowering?

That does sound rather nice, I’d say (and I have a mini-series in my podcast just on language itself, yes).

So here’s a good question to ask:


What would our lives look like if we started to put effort into moving from thoughts like “I’m a disaster” and “nothing good will come out of this” to “I am enough”?

How would we treat ourselves?

How would we feel?

What impact would it have on our ambitions, our interactions with others, and simply how we live every day?

Neurolinguistic programming – one of the disciplines Marisa’s therapy seems to be based on – tells us that it is thoughts that create our reality. What we think will be a base for how we feel.

That makes thinking better thoughts not something optional to have a life based on self-compassion, authenticity, and bravery; it is the very base.

In other words,


To have a better life, you have to start having better thoughts.

More questions to consider:

Can we successfully change any behaviour without changing the underlying thought? How can we treat addiction, for example, without inspecting what is the thought that is creating the pain underneath?

Anyways, I’ll leave you with Marisa for even more questions, suggestions, and simply a dose of kindness.


Don’t miss a post!



2 responses to “Can You Lie to Yourself Better?”

  1. Great topic here. And we’re going to be thinking a lot anyway, why not choose the right thoughts? I’ve found that sometimes, thoughts follow action though. So in order to build better thoughts, we have to first do the right things. Anyway, thanks for this post!

    • Awww, thank you, Stuart! Indeed, I think it’s more of a circle, and “the right” thoughts will lead to “the right” actions, and then, when we see ourselves take that action we can think “look at that, so I AM capable of this!” πŸ™‚ So however we start that healthy cycle, as long as it’s going, it’s great!

Leave a Reply to Stuart Danker Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: