Loneliness is hard. And uncomfortable. And not easy to live with.
If you’ve felt a bit lonely during this pandemic, it’s OK.
We know that we can accept things as they are. We can name our discomforts with honesty.
Naming what we’re experiencing doesn’t necessarily change that experience, but it does dilute any shame surrounding feeling a certain way. We’re literally all in this together, remember?
But so if you are feeling a bit – or a lot! – disconnected, please keep reading.
Because I wanted to share two quick tips with you.
I am very happy and proud to say that I was recently asked to give talks on mindfulness and motivation to the seniors of my high school. I did think hard about which valuable insights and what tips I’d like to share with them. It was almost like a chance to talk to a younger me! (or, well, MANY younger meS)
“How can I squeeze over three decades of learning into 45 minutes?” was a question I had to answer for myself.
In the end, I did. I’ve managed to pour A LOT into these talks, focusing them on several areas.
One of them was connection. It simply had to be connection.
I must say, I’ve been using these two “techniques” for months now. Unexpectedly, I’ve been spending my COVID days in a small town where none of my friends live. Like…none. No-one is physically around, and that has simply never happened in my life (ha, maybe when I was a baby and didn’t have any friends yet). Has it been hard? Harder than I’d like to admit. That’s why I want to share these two tips with you: because I have seen, firsthand, how much connection they can create.
So the first tip I’ve shared is a really simple one, and its premise is something I’d like to remind you of today.
If you feel a bit lonely, if “no-one is checking on you”, if there are no calls and messages, here’s a suggestion:
Don’t wait. YOU can be the one who gets in touch!
That connection can be created both ways – how liberating is this? So when YOU initiate it, you create it for yourself, too.
My tip? Every morning – or…at any time, really (maybe avoid weird “oh no, is this an emergency?” times) – send someone a quick WhatsApp audio message.
“Hey, I’m wishing you a nice morning and sending some good vibes your way!” – not much is needed, really. And let me tell you: what a joy it is to receive a message like that. It might seem silly, but you can never know how much one’s day can be improved by such a small act. And how much YOUR day gets better because of it, too.
If life is about growth and contribution, don’t miss a chance to go for it. Be generous. Give.
If you’re unsure whether you want to send an audio (or text) message to anyone, please consider this for a quick reflection question:
Whose day could I improve by doing so? Who would appreciate it?
I am SURE there is someone whose day you’d love to brighten. Maybe someone who also feels just a little bit lonely. Just a little bit disconnected.
The second tip might sound like very formal advice, but please stick with me.
Schedule your calls with friends.
Put it in your calendar.
Get those reminders.
Make it happen!
Brendon Burchard, THE personal development guy, talks about such a simple yet seemingly radical idea:
Don’t just schedule work. Schedule life.
If you feel it’s difficult to get in touch with someone spontaneously, plan it! It’s not weird; it’s only efficient. It’s not formal; it’s what’s needed sometimes.
And sometimes, it all starts with those small steps. Two weird tips that might even seem “too easy” to work.
But, remember, tips can only work if you use them.
I really hope you do!